Tuesday, January 27, 2009

What has lead me to this point.....

Hi bitches. Welcome to my blog. Glad you're here... you ready to hear about my dating life? It's pretty damn funny. :) I feel like I've basically been single all my 29 years of life, with a year and 8 month exception of one serious boyfriend. After that relationship ended almost 2 years ago, I've spent the better part of my time navigating the single world in Chicago. I thought once moving down here from the 'burbs, I'd be surrounded by young single awesome guys who enjoyed the city as much as I do and my single days would be over. I apparently didn't realize where I was going to be living...Chicago, as AMAZING a city it is, is quite possibly the hardest to date in. I'm not sure why that is.. but it's a rough one out there. But that doesn't stop me.. I'm an optimist and a romantic and am certain I will meet a man who will blow my mind one of these days.

I've recently given match.com a try, as two of my close friends had great success with it (i.e., they're now engaged to their match.com love matches!). I had tried it once before and went on 2 dates: date #1) guy was the biggest spazz you've ever met and embarrassed the crap out of me within the first 10 minutes of being in the bar; date #2) ended up taking me to the EXACT SAME BAR that date #1 did for dinner and then later tried to seduce me at his place by playing and singing along with Dave Matthew's "Crash" (wait, I'm sorry, did I not realize it was 1999?) and then tapping me on the shoulder before awkwardly kissing me. I quickly stopped after date #2 stalked me like a crazy girl, demanding to know why I wouldn't return his calls, etc.

Before match.com, I had the pleasure of having these dating scenarios:
*Meeting a minor D-list Chicago celebrity who was pretty damn funny, but who turned out to be a first-date ditching, raging a-hole.
*Several awkward myspace dates, like the one guy who was a Sox fan (that scores automatic cool points) but who's beer belly rivaled some of my 9+month pregnant patients' bellies (wipes out aforementioned points)(Yes, I will be that shallow, you don't see me sporting a massive gut!), a quiet guy who spent the whole dinner asking me 50 billion questions like it was a job interview and then giving me sass saying I'm not talkative enough, and a teacher who was fun but spent more time working out than any normal human being should.
*The best myspace date turned into an almost 2 month fling, but he was the flightiest mofo alive...he'd be all about me and then wouldn't call me all week- very annoying. Not to much the horrendous wall-shaking snoring and the wiggling <-you don't want me to elaborate. No really.. you don't.
*Actually being the aggressor for once and chasing a guy, only to have his kiss me like he was being forced to kiss his grandma on the lips.
*And the winner... a date that I got suckered into going on, which ended with me storming out of the bar after being drunkenly groped, then being chased down the street and cooerced into his car, screaming and fighting ensued as he drove me home, then me collasping on the floor of my foyer and sobbing unconsolably as I replayed the horror of the night.

That's all I can think of right now.. but isn't that enough? LOL. So if you found any of that funny or entertaining, stay tuned, because I promise there'll be more.

1 comment:

  1. As a fellow blogger, I feel it is my duty to welcome you to the club! Yay, another great blog to add to my daily blogroll. How else would I get through eight hours of work???!! :)